Having conquered my longtime nemesis, the inability to ride a bicycle, I feel assertive and energetic.
I feel like making a list, but not just a list a motherfuckin list. A list of things I goddamned love. The thought that I never seem to have a favorite anything has come to me and I want to slay it with certainty.
Hail to the king baby.
My favorite book is The Brothers Karamazov by F.M. Dostoevsky. All the things that make being a human being grand are in that book. I want to be buried with this book.
My favorite piece of music is the first movement of Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven.
My favorite food is Speghetti. Fuck you, but not speghetti.
My favorite drink is whiskey, more specifically Johnnie Walker Black Label (scotch yes) for socializing and Fighting Cock for hooning the shit out of an evening.
My favorite academic subject is astronomy. Motherfucking galaxies.
My favorite sport is American (gridiron) Football and my favorite team is the Pittsburgh Steelers even though I genuinely wish the Cleveland Browns would go back to the Super Bowl for immature reasons.
My favorite athlete is the boxer Jack Johnson, not because he fucked Mata Hari, not because he was also a bullfighter, not because he had a drinking contest with fucking Rasputin, not because he openly dated white women during a time where that would get a black man lynched, not because he was the best fucking boxer of his time, and not even because he was probably the first superstar athlete and fist fucked the hell out of the racial barrier, but for all those reasons combined as well as this anecdote:
"Once, when he was pulled over for a $50 speeding ticket (a large sum at the time), he gave the officer a $100 bill; when the officer protested that he couldn't make change for that much, Johnson told him to keep the change, as he was going to make his return trip at the same speed."
My favorite president is Teddy Goddamned Roosevelt.
Another one of my favorite things is to leave this list short with the intention of updating it later:
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