Wimmins And Phil Collins 1/2 Post GO!

Snow white has taken flight and left my thoughts to the jackals.

Madam Shine was mighty fine but my mind would only scare her.

Across the sea Lady melody now rests her head on a dumbfuck.

To the women who drove me to drink, how could I ever repay you?

Speaking of wimmins, Constance, your attempts to scare me will only end in disappointment... and then fear, and then relief, and then curiosity, and then pleasure. All of this will culminate in events that will forever bar me from the Spanish mainland. They will be worth it though, that's the kind of livin' people should be doing.

I'm entertaining thoughts of re-writing the bible.

Genesis
Chapter 1:

In the beginning Peter Gabriel spoke unto them, "I want to do some weird shit." Phil Collins, the morning radio star, said unto the lord, "I can feel it, coming in the air tonight... oh lord."

No? Well, if you did get my references then I congratulate you. If you tell me the reference I will reward your knowledge of trivial things.

I was going to write more, but I have just been inspired.

To Niles' Awful Unseen Wife

When I was 12 I tried alcohol for the first time. Beer tasted awful and I still curse the kid who gave it to me, but liquor... that shit really lit my fire.

Even the first drink of whiskey tasted like I had mastered fire and was drinking it down to become part of my soul. And once it reached the soul it warmed my everything. Getting the shit kicked out of you, then laughed at about it, leaves a sickness that never leaves stuck in the core of you. It dampens what should be happy moments and productive thoughts and leaves nothing but rot where there could have been joy. The warmth was a metaphor and real at the same time. A big ol batch of chemicals, just what I needed.

It tasted like burning asshole, but it only took 2 quick shots to shine a light on all my dark. I cannot remember what stupid things I did that night, well, not clearly, but I do remember a lot of spinning and smiling. Also, I may have thrown up into an older girl's blouse.

After that I went only with hard liquor, straight shots, it was quicker you see. Beer was never here *points to stomach* but liquor is for my ticker. The previous sentence is an example of how retarded I was as a child, but I do remember saying that anytime drinks were offered. Eventually, once I learned the ropes I'd simply say, when offered beer, "does it look like I'm wearing a dress? Gimme some hooch." I made many enemies over the years, but the strength I acquired from each of their defeats only increased the amount of strong drink I was able to take in per night. I was like the boozelander, there could be only "ughhhnnn..."

I did get drunk sometimes, but I maintain and am willing to present witnesses to verify, that I am an exquisite drunk. I do not fight, I do not start altercations, I simply keep to myself, or begin telling stories to anyone who would hear them. At these stages, my mind is completely open and any painful baggage is shot into space and nuked to hell and back by the unstoppable might of my intoxicated resolve. For the longest time, I was only happy when I could drink.

What's that? What about the addict scale that says over time the happiness from a drug decreases while the pain increases? Well hypothetical audience member, for as long as I've been drinking the scale has never once been in favor of pain over pleasure when drinking. I've gone on month long jam sessions with Jack Daniels on bass and while I've become sick from the poison, I've never been unhappy. If I became unhappy while drinking I would stop, and if it became painful I would quit. It is a very simple thing to know when you must stop something before it destroys you, the hard part is knowing when it is in the process of wrecking you, "I'm fine" the doomed would say before their decent into mental hellfire and physical oblivion. It really is playing with fire, but I am one of those rare people who were born with fireproof gloves.

Am I drunk right now? Why do you ask that? Oh... the structure of this article is all fucked up? Unrefined yes... but if you will notice, I make it clear in the upper right part of this page that I do not edit or even gloss over these entries. They are shit cars sold as is. No returns hypothetical asshole and you're lucky that you're not real otherwise I'd break my foot off in your geriatric ass.

All is fine, especially when liquor is abundant and the company is good. Of course, I'm sure many before me have said similar things before winding up bloated wreckage in the cosmic gutter, but if I ever get out of hand, that's one of the reasons why I've got you.

You know who you are. I'm glad you worry, but I'll be fine, and if not, tell me to quit and I will do so. But until I cannot handle it anymore, I will set a sun in my heart and share good stories and over-enthusiastic laughs with people worth sharing the experience with, and when I am sober I will pester you with terrible puns and sober hugs.

A Few Weak Words On Time... To... Ya Know, Pass It.

I've got a problem with time, man time, and by man time I do not mean the best 30 minutes a gay boy can have in San Francisco, I mean time as observed by man. Seconds, minutes, hours and so forth. I hate them all. Whenever I am forced to adhere to a schedule it puts me in a vicious mood.

That is because every tick of man's clock strangles my mind with thoughts about how much "time" is left, about how much time has already passed, and menaces me with a feeling of contempt and anger that man would invent such a horrific thing.

I can understand the use of time. It can be useful when coordinating drug deals and ransom exchanges, but the concept of it is something I cannot assimilate into my life and remain happy. I like to sleep, I cannot sleep when I start thinking about "time."

I don't think I'll ever be on time.

Never Forget

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (1:54 AM):
today I went to the library and ran into a guy who was as ugly as a sack of shit covered ass-frogs

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (1:55 AM):
even in my wretched state i am a pillar of beauty compared to him, but I do not say this to him. What if he is a nice guy? What if he is a great or fantastic guy? I'd feel worse than he looks if that were the case.

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (1:57 AM):
I had to find out what kind of a person he was, for the sake of my day because if I went on under the assumption that he was a great person in whom I only cared about his ugliness, then I would have become ugly myself

well i mean not physically ugly, i'm pretty good looking, I mean GENUINE ugly

ugly soul, ugly mana, ugly heart

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (1:58 AM):
That is no way to live. I am a bastard, but one that appreciates goodness in people

so, with my entire day on the line, i spoke to him

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:00 AM):
"does the fact that somewhere in the world right now someone is beating an adorable puppy to death bother you?"
"oh my god... now it does..." he said, and looked sad

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:01 AM):
instead of focusing on the fact that some strange man with pointy hair and fierce eyes just mentioned puppy beating to him, he immediately felt for the puppy

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:02 AM):
the guy had a good heart
so, I had to make it right

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:03 AM):
"well I mean, that's just hypothetical, I mean... if it's an adorable puppy then why would someone want to beat it? At the very worst they'd be villians who would want to make money off of it by selling it."
"then what about the ugly puppies?" he said. From the expression on his face I could tell that struck a chord with him, the "ugly puppies"

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:04 AM):
at this point I had forgotten what book I was seeking in the first place, I just realized that I had opened a can of worms and smeared them in the face of a kind man

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:05 AM):
I had to fix this situation

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:06 AM):
but I didn't know how, my mind was stunned... I mean, he was a kind man after all but it wasn't pleasant to look at for long periods of time. I had to improvise

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:07 AM):
I offered to buy him a whole lot of booze
and when I said a whole lot, I stressed the way I said "A WHOOOOOLE LOT"

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:08 AM):
it was at this point that he began to realize that I might be insane

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:09 AM):
"no, i'm fine thanks.."

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:11 AM):
"alright, well, sorry about bringing up puppy bashing and so on, I'll have you know that there is a league of puppy and kitty defenders that was formed here at the college... I joined it and so far we've saved several dozen of both kitties and puppies"
"oh, thats really good then... do you guys accept members?"
SHIT, I thought. What to say what to say...

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:12 AM):
"we do, but you have to go up to the school and apply.."
"oh ok i think i will"
"NO WAIT, I mean, its online now, sorry, skipped my mind."

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:13 AM):
"oh, whats the address?" he asked

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:14 AM):
"its uhh..."

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:16 AM):
as I stalled, a girl behind me spoke, "hey, i've never heard about anything like that on the campus. I think its great though"

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:17 AM):
I was in over my head, there was only one way out

Vidi, Vici, Veni said (2:18 AM):
I faked a mild heart attack, and told them I had to get my pills before it was too late, then i stumbled out of the library