Al Gore Rythms

08-02-2014 17:50 Cue the Social Network soundtrack. Sit here on a laptop in public looking like a deranged homeless man pretending to be a pretentious  computer fuck. Also, I think the music while I sit here is impeding my writing. Is it? When it's quiet I seem to write more and write the kinds of things I don't immediately delete. Maybe I should save the music for the brainstorming instead of the actual typing. Let's turn it to something loud and obnoxious and see how that goes.

Hrmm. Nothing obnoxious on this soundtrack. Fuck, I just realized my saying the word soundtrack is putting in motions advertising algorithms. Gears of mechanized and digitized greed start to spin and the word "soundtrack" acts as chum in the waters and here come the sharks.

"Why did he use the word soundtrack?

Does he want to buy something?

Money money money."

You won't get my dollar internet. Dollar internet, there's an idea, I'll be rich. All I have to do is advertise the shit out of my new idea and money somehow will appear in my bank account. Ugh what the fuck am I talking about. I can't get comfortable. Also I don't like how I look as I type. I can see my reflection and I hate how my hands have to converge into a small space in order to use the keyboard. I wish I could have two separate mini keyboards for each hand so I could keep my arms spread and take up more space which is one of the key components to finding a mate. Imagine the joy in a woman's heart when she sees that homeless looking shitbag at the Taco Bell with his arms wide open. Creed begins to play in here mind and it's one of her favorite songs and she loves me for reminding her of things she loves. She's had so much trouble with other people in the past, could I be the one? Wait for a sign my dear, I'm about to give one to you.

When I scratch my nose she surrenders the last of her self control and comes to me. Halfway through my shredded chicken burrito I see her coming and know that look from all the times before. Ever since I had bought that fantastic new 2 piece keyboard I've been causing women to lose their minds. It upped my 'sexy' into the 'xtreme.' More than love she wanted to give me money in appreciation for the keyboard I am proposing. Women will throw money and sex at this product. Take that back to your masters you motherfucking algorithms.

Not even halfway done and I can hear a guy talk about his mother's weight gain. Another gem on female bodybuilders: "That's what I call those girls, steroid girls." Sir, I wish to subscribe to your newsletter, where can I reach you if I wish to send you some money? I don't like this seat. I don't like this posture. What is different now from before when the lightning was well and greased. Also, it may have something to do with the fact that there was a terrified family sitting across from me. They were all using their "don't assault me" eyes to great success. Sometimes I think I should walk up to people to let them know that I'm not going to follow them home and eat them. But then what if I change my mind later, I'd be a terrible person for lying to them like that.

These entries are numerous but seem to lack the explosiveness I felt with some of the older, better ones. As long as I get it done though. Quality will follow quantity because that's how this sort of thing always goes. No, I'm excited for the future though. Really I am. Though I've probably always been excited for the future if you were to read a lot of the shit I never took off the internet.

Earlier in my visit here a stranger shook my hand and introduced himself to me as I was setting up my computer and listening to the Social Network soundtrack. Quick gem from the guy across from me: "Get more epic with it." I wish to fuck you sir. No, this other guy, the one who shook my hand, was very friendly and proper looking but I wonder if he intentionally transmitted some sort of something to me through hand contact… My god… he was well dressed and clean, what if he was an ad man? THE ALGORITHMS! They're working pre-emptively now and I have no defense for that but a suicide attack. Now, having said 'suicide attack,' a completely different set of algorithms are kicking in and tracking these words. Ham and the CIA may be the only people who ever read this post, or maybe the court once the powers that be realize I have no means to defend myself legally and decide to shit into my lungs to prove some kind of point about not using certain words on the internet.

"Let the fisting begin."

And yet more algorithms are set loose.

This entry is awash in zeros and ones trying to sell to me or imprison me or recommend strange sexual fetish forums for me. Did the person who invent the zero ever envision the terrible powers it would one day wield? Did the inventor of the blowtorch ever envision the terrible things it would weld?

I'm going to be a stickler about the thousand words rather than cutting it short. Discipline remember? Of course you do, I've only used that word seventy fucking times the past few days. I think it's going to be important to start writing more boring things. I want to see if my garbage detector can be subdued. Well, obviously it can be, look at the past 900 or so words. It's getting better though, and all to do now is throw these words up into the interpsace and forget they ever happened.