Strange Company

Have you ever had the sensation that someone was watching you, and if so, have you ever turned in the direction you think they may be watching from and try to catch them, only to find that nobody was there to begin with?

If the answer is yes, go away.

If the answer is no, let me tell you why it was important that I did this.

Earlier in the evening I was at a local park casually strolling up and down a hill and wondering what kind of reaction a dog would have upon realizing it's own mortality. I was supposing that it would depend on the breed of dog when I heard a voice speak to me. It was feminine and light, but inquisitive and well spoken. It made light of my trivial thoughts about dogs and how they would react with the knowledge of their own demise, but I argued against it.

She would not relent. She was stubborn. She told me that because there was no right or wrong answer that she could not concede that she was mistaken in any way. I argued against that fact. As we went back and forth I fell down the hill and landed in an akward position. I layed there for a moment, certain that once I tried to move that my nervous system would fire napalm into the base of my spine. But when I finally did attempt to pick myself up, I felt no pain.

I looked around for a moment. Had anyone seen me? Did I trip? Nobody was around. Had I really been hearing a voice or was that the product of thinking too damned hard.

I stood there waiting for something to happen, but all that happened then was me looking like a lost and paranoid dumbass. The moment to gain composure and continue on my way had come, and I began to stroll around once again.

"Knock knock," I heard the woman's voice say.

She was in my head. I looked around for some strange woman who was standing at my back telling me things but after swinging wildly and not hitting anything I knew it was all in my head. The question then was how did this woman get inside my brain.

"Say, what's this do?"

Then all the pain that I hadn't felt after my awkward landing impaled my everything. It was like getting fucked in the spine by an iceberg. I hit the ground again and gasped. And then, it stopped and I felt nothing but a mild throbbing in my back.

"Oooops! Guess I shouldn't hit that switch while you're driving huh?"

This was the point where I would use violence in order to make everything better, but how could I bludgeon someone who was inside my head? There would be no guarantee that it would harm her, plus, it would more than likely harm me! I was going to have to think this through it seemed.

"Ahhh, but since I'm in your brain I know what you're thinking."

BITCH AND HALF! She had my number! How do you fight something that you can't reach and that knows your every move?!

"Yeah, that brick wall thing from the Children of the Corn won't work either."

TWO FULL BITCHES!! I was as fucked an alter boy. I had no way of doing jack shit and this woman apparently possessed the ability to toggle some switches in my brain which caused immense pain. What else could she do if she so pleased? Could I expect to suddenly lose control of my body and then commit terrible crimes? Would I be forced into a church where I would proclaim the divinity of Christ and spend my Sundays wishing death would fly over and carpet bomb the area?

"I could also make you put on a dress and walk into a gay bar."

But she could feasably make me like it if she did, right?

"Hah, you wish."

SON OF THE DOUBLE BITCHES!!! What did she want!? What was she doing in my brain?!

"To be honest, I want everything you want. But I also want something more."

I didn't have to say a word. She was in my brain and probably knew all of my responses before I did. This seemed to be the case because what followed sounded like a conversation she was having with herself.

"Of course, I can't tell you EVERYTHING right off the bat. And its rude of you to ask. I'll just fill you in on the basics.

I am the manifestation of your dementia. All the instances where you would see strange sights that could not be real, all the voices you could not place as real or imagined, and all moments where you could feel someone touching your hand or walking past you, that is what I am, all of that.

Well, its you who made me. I have no idea how I got here. All I remember was… opening my eyes, so to speak, and then speaking out to you. I was just born, just now, and I'm trying to get my feet wet since we'll be roommates and all.

Yes, we live in the same place don't we? Besides, I can't live without you and you have no choice but to live with me, hah. Space mutant? Really now, is it that hard to believe what I told you? No no, I'll be honest with you, even if I wanted to I couldn't take full control of you. You've got a strong enough will to override my whims, if you ever choose to exercise that will. All I can do is influence as best I can. That, is the extent to which I can interact with your world.

No, I can't be 'here' all the time. You can't be awake or running at full speed all the time can you? In fact, I am sore and tired right now, so I will need to rest soon.

Sore because I took the pain from you. You shouldn't do anything overly physical for a few days or you'll damage yourself, but at the very least I can take the pain.

Why? Well, because we're in the same boat. Besides, if I scratch your back, then I know you'll scratch mine, isn't that right? No, nothing insane about this. It will probably take some time to adjust, so, that's what I'll give you for now.

Ahhh don't worry, this will all turn out marvelous! Just you wait and see! Well, you'll definitely 'hear' from me again, but seeing would be a taller order to fill. I guess if you ever do… it will be when you least suspect it.

Well, I'm beat, I'm going to relax for a bit. Talk to you later, Jack."

I stood there, looking like a lost dumbass again, until I realized that I should probably be getting back home. As I drove back to my place I convinced myself that it was a dream or a result of the fall or even the result of advancing schizophrenia. It was to become something I wouldn't talk about with anyone for a long time. When I got home I killed every light and sound in the house, turned on the electric fan, and laid down on my futon. Then, as I was about to drift into the final plane between drowsy, conscious thinking and gentle slumber, I felt someone looking at me. I practically lept up and caught a glimpse of a woman with black hair and white skin looking toward me before the image was gone and I was left staring at the wall.

It was important that I looked when I did because I caught her in the act of existing. I am certain now, that at some point or another, I'm going to have to deal with her again. Oh well, it could be worse. I could have to listen to Fran Drescher's voice without being able to mute it.