There is a spinning sensation that starts with the inside of my head and threatens to twist me in circles before I have any inclination to correct myself. I've decided to let it run it's course and see where it takes me.
After several minutes of spinning I've found that relativity makes better points than just putting up with your in laws. I noticed that time seemed to slow down the faster I spun so up I went and began a session that entailed 43 minutes of constant spinning.
Vomit everywhere, but I do believe I've come across the secret to time travel. Here I come prom I never got the chance to ruin for everyone.
I've learned a new trick. I can now spin my eyes around in the sockets and take a look at my brain. It's still too dark to see anything well so I'm in the process of shoving lit q-tips into my ears.
So I'm deaf now, but to compensate, my sense of smell has intensified to the point to where I am now capable of sniffing out encroaching death on people. I have wandered the streets for days handing out pink slips to doomed people.
They read: "Dear Madam or Sir,
I regret to inform you that despite your spot on attendance record we have decided to go in another direction with your being alive. Please understand that this was not an easy choice, but for reasons I cannot get into you are being relocated to a cozy underground cubicle.
- Life"
Very much liked the end note. You are fired from life. Sorry. Have a bouquet!
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